I Love You To Death by Natalie Ward

5 Stars    (for great character development; emotionally charged; extremely well written; and I loved it)

Also Posted at:  Ms. Reality's Goodreads

Goodreads Summary:

When Ash loses her boyfriend, she is consumed by grief, loneliness and an overwhelming sense of guilt for her role in not only his death, but the deaths of everyone she has ever loved. Refusing to let anyone in for fear of losing them too, she becomes withdrawn, spending her days reliving the nightmares from her past.

Until she meets Luke.

Initially scared by his intensity and interest in her, Ash tries to push him away. But as Luke slowly starts to chip away at the walls she’s built, Ash finds herself doing the one thing she swore she’d never do again — falling in love.

When the familiar feelings Ash had hoped were long buried with her past begin to resurface, she is forced to ask herself if falling in love again is really worth the risk.

My Thoughts:

Tissues…Lots and Lots and Lots of Tissues Needed!!!!!!!

For me to say this is a heavy read is a total understatement.  I was not at all prepared for the emotional ache this book put me through.  The level of despair I felt moved me to my core. 

I knew just by the title and cover that I was in for a deep, deep ride.

Ash’s grief, despair and guilt were fabulously written.   I thought several times that this storyline could go south really quickly and become redundant…BUT I was sooo happy to say it DID NOT!  The author found every possible conceivable way to describe and express grief/guilt/despair.  I kept thinking..OH God…What’s next?? But it would always be different…never the same…never repetitive.  I enjoyed that I was kept on my toes. 

“So in fact, my life is far from normal, it’s actually complete shit.”

That’s saying it lightly.  Connection with Ash’s ‘not so normal life’ was very easy.  I many not have felt her level of guilt, but I understood it on some level.  I may not have had her level of loss, but I have felt it.  That connection with her kept pulling me in.  I wanted her to overcome her emotional turmoil and every time she fell…I’d fall right with her.  I feel that Ash has some of the best character development I’ve read.  I know her, feel for her and want her to be happy. 

I love, love, loved how the author wrote the ‘memories’ of all the different losses Ash experienced.  It was a great way to do flashbacks.  Not only did we learn deeper into her past; each one was a mini-story that was wonderfully detailed and jammed pact.

I really feel that Luke was sent by Ash’s angels above to help her work her shit out.  He was so unbelievably patient and held her as if she would break at any moment.  He was so admirable and an overall great guy.  I love how Luke could see through Ash’s mask and dig into her, but yet be so careful and patience with her.  It was so very endearing.

The entire book is written in Ash’s perspective.  We get to swim in her sea of turmoil.  I would have loved to hear Luke’s POV!!!!  That is the only downfall I have with this book.  I wanted inside his brain soooooo badly!  I wanted his feelings about everything going on. 

Parts of this book were utterly gut-wrenching.  I went through a huge amount of tissues.  I even did the whole sobbing on my kindle thing..but don’t let that detour you from reading.  A little crying is good for the soul!

I did love how each chapter outlined the music that went along with that chapter It helped me make a deeper connection with the book.  Music tends to do that. 

Please do not go into this book thinking is a happy go lucky—because it is not.  It is dark, sad and grief ridden—but that said it is an awesomely written book with a great story line.  I would highly recommend reading it.

Personal note:  The author gave me this book to read and review.  I can say without a doubt that I would have kept this book on my TBR list because I have a personal issue with death, if not for her asking me to read it.  I was able to work through some ‘stuff’ while reading this book and for that I am utterly grateful I was asked.