Friday, September 21, 2012

Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1)

By: Tara Sivec

If you want to laugh until you pee your pants, this is the book for you! I have never laughed so much while reading a book. My husband kept looking at me like I was crazy. Finally he asked what I was reading and I gave him a few lines and he laughed too!
Claire is a single mom in her twenties who is works hard to give her son Gavin a better life. She is trying desperately to save money to begin her own company selling her delicious chocolate treats. Gavin is freaking hilarious. He has a horribly hilarious mouth and you never know what is going to come out of it! I was rolling. 

“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately” Carter muttered.”
Tara Sivec
, Seduction and Snacks

“Holy shit, did they just kill off that fish’s wife?” I blurted in shock.
“Yep,” Gavin replied. “That big, mean fish ated her.”
He said it so calmly – like it was no big deal that a sweet, loving cartoon fish just got murdered. What the fuck was wrong with this movie? This couldn’t be appropriate for kids. I didn’t think it was appropriate for me.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks
Claire knows that Gavin’s dad is from a one night stand that she had back in college. She tried desperately to find him, but didn’t know his name. It was a wild college party and she left early in the morning before exchanging the fun morning afters.
Fast forward 4 years and Carter enters her life. He is her one night stand and he doesn’t remember her…at first. So she sets out to help him remember.

Carter has been lusting after a girl he met at a party 4 years earlier and was crushed he woke up to an empty bed. The biggest thing he remembers about her is the smell of chocolate—her smell. He has tired looking for her and came up empty.

The supporting characters in this story are freaking hilarious. Claire’s BFF Liz has been there for her for years. Carter’s BFF is an ogre who has no manners, but wears the funniest shirts. The stuff that comes out of his mouth is hilarious.
I highly recommend reading this book. Do I wish there was a meatier story..yes… But the comedy makes up for anything lacking in my eyes. I will be rereading this book soon. It was piss your pants funny!

“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother. “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.” Bullshit. I CALL BULLSHIT. Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit. Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis. It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out. Who in their right mind would do that willingly? You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

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