Must be 18yrs and older this review contains strong/explicit language.
SPOILER FREE REVIEW -4.5 STARSGenre: Erotica/BDSM Interracial Romance
ADDICTIVE, INTENSE and EXTREMELY DARK
These are the Confessions
Of A Whore
Of A Politician
Of A Daughter
Of A Philanthropist
WARNING
Reader beware this book has strong BDSM content. Breath-play(asphyxia), Blood play, Bondage and Sensory deprivation.
Dark, very Dark are the Confessions.
The last time I read about characters this Fucked up her name was Nora and his name was S
"Evil requires the sanction of the victim." -Ayn Rand
Let's meet the characters shall we...
--THE WHORE London Brown Desniah's alter ego
'If I was looking to play with fire, I wanted to dance in the center of the flames.' ~Inner monologue of London
--THE POLITICIAN Caden Jacob Carrington V(The fifth)
"I told you I'd be back. Now I want what's mine." He grabbed my chin and aligned our stares. "You." ~Caden to London
--THE DAUGHTER Desniah Williams 26yr old, affluent, educated black woman
'To say I am messed up is like saying the devil is evil, simply a matter of fact. I am me, myself, and London. At least that's how it's been since I discovered five years ago that I wasn't alone. Recently, I'd become aware of her activities, and it makes me wonder if I want to know all that I don't. I’m weak. She is strong, though, tries to convince me otherwise.' ~Inner monologue of Desniah
In case your wondering YES Desniah and London share the same body. But hold two distinct and separate personalities.
--THE PHILANTHROPIST Rhys Christo Edward Stowell
'Beguiled by a woman who uses the oldest profession to torture herself and punish those that love her, I’m ever her dutiful friend. The rebellious son of an elder in the Church of Christ. A man without direction.' ~ Inner monologue of Rhys
When the book starts we meet London, she has just been contacted by 'The Agency.' The Agency provides pricey escorts to London's elite.
'Today’s assignment:
Dear Ms. Brown:
Your presence is requested for afternoon tea, 3:30-6:00 pm at (hotel name). Wear only a trench coat and heels.
Sincerely,
Sven Bylander
They were usually signed by a dead historical figure.'
She receives her work orders and heads off to meet her client at the destination given. After entering the luxury hotel the maitre'd, Peter, escorts her to the dining area where the meeting will take place. Along the way Peter mentions her client by name.
"I haven't seen Mr. Carrington in a great many years.."
It causes her steps to falter because she has not seen Caden in five years. She was aware that he recently returned to London from Hong Kong but is shocked he would require an escort service. Of course nothing is a coincidence in the world of literary fiction. As she enters the dining area her eyes lock with his and she knows immediately that he not only knew it would be her who walked in but that he requested her.
Caden is currently running for the political seat now occupied by Desniah's father. Five years ago Caden accepted a job in Hong Kong not knowing that the decision would cause his best friend and love of his life to completely shut him out.
'I had been a year and a half in Hong Kong before I realized Des was lost to me, out of my reach.
I'd let so many nameless, faceless women try to sooth me.' ~Caden
That was the past.. He's back now and he wants Desniah to be his. First he needs to know the truth.
'So why is it so important for me to uncover the truth about Desniah Williams, a.k.a. London Brown, when neither will willingly provide facts…
I bide my time, playing the politician while I unravel secrets, and peel back the layers between us. I chase an elusive dream, one I've yet to abandon, a life with her.'
The Politician has competition
Rhys is the best friend if Desniah and he is also in love with her. They once shared a kiss many months back. Rhys can easily distinguish between Desniah and London. And he is in love with Desniah.
'I'd tasted Desniah, not London. Other men got London.' ~Rhys
And ever since then Rhys has held back his feelings by putting their friendship first. That all changes though when these two have sex. They decide to attend a party together as a couple. And in their minds them as a couple is a fake a show put on for others.
Rhys is not faking one bit he wants Desniah. BAD.
Rhys harbors secrets and desires that are slowly revealed to Desniah. He fears she will hate him and find him disgusting for his dark desires.
"The dungeon is not open for play until we've discussed hard limits." ~Rhys to Desniah
He has no idea how much Desniah needs him to pull those desires out of her.
Rhys is the only male Desniah has ever let in. She suffered tragedies in her life at a very young age and because of it she is Broken.
Both Rhys and Desniah find comfort in one another.
Once Rhys finds the piece of the puzzle that BROKE Desniah and her innocence he becomes the protector and ATTACKS.
Once Desniah finds out what London has been up to she faces her betrayer and she BREAKS. Again.
And Caden, Well let's just say if he finally gets the answers he seeks he'll never be the same. Because the truth HURTS.
Thoughts
Wow! I loved this book. When I first started I remember thinking "what the f**k did I get myself in to?" LOL! And I find when I ask myself that it's often turns out to be a good thing. That statement causes me to hold on tight to my knickers because the ride on the road that I travel will be treacherous. This book had me on the edge of my seat unsure where and how it will end. And then BAM. I was left hanging. LOL! Now awaiting the next Volume of books.
The Alter Ego
SUPERB! GENIUS! And I love this aspect. In three scenes the switch happened right before the readers eyes. Two of those times it was around Rhys and he went right with the flow. He can tell the two apart just by the posture of either Desniah or London. It was amazing to read it was literally like a movie playing in my head. I love Rhys attitude towards London he knows she can't be trusted. I would have to agree with him by what I read. London is a loose cannon. And you cannot trust a loose cannon. PERIOD.
I think the author has a very unique tale by way of confessions. I enjoyed the cast of characters each unique.
Rhys- I especially like Rhys his character is pitch black. He is in a constant battle to fight the darkness that consumes him. He is a true sadist and it's very scary. I'm not sure if Desniah is truly aware of what she is in for.
London- Is Desniah's alter ego. London is a true masochist. The way she was born into exsistence is beyond horrible. She feeds off pain and desires it unlike no other I have ever seen. She claims to be protecting Desniah... But I'm not sure how true that is. London is a loose cannon and she seeks to feed her masochistic desires no matter what.
Desniah- Hmmm. I definitely think Des has a masochistic side of her, she needs to be controlled that's for sure. I think that is part of the reason London is around.
Caden- The little I know about him says that he is indeed in love with Desniah. But in all honesty I doubt he can keep her content. He hates what she does and hates that she craves the things that are done to her as London. I really want to know how he knew about London and to contact 'The Agency.'
I really need the next Volume. Like NOW!
Dear Readers
Bring on the Hedonism! I recommend this book to those who can handle dark edgy reads, this book is not for the faint of heart. It deals with rape, cutting and hardcore BDSM theme's. It is strong on the S&M but does not have a rape scene, it does however deal with it's after effects. If you can handle that READ THIS BOOK it is sooooo G O O D!!! I highly recommend!
My Ratings
Characters- Strong willed, Lovable, Scary and Intense
Writing Style- Creative, Unique, Dark and Raw
Plot/Storylines- Keeps you on the edge of your seat
Steam Factor- High/Very Steamy
Overall- I LOVED IT!!!! READ IT!
Now go forth and read. Then come tell us about it on Goodreads!!!
*Copy kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*
INTERVIEW
On behalf of Reality Bites - Let's Get Lost Blog I would like to say thank you so much for this opportunity Leila, it is greatly appreciated!
I want to thank Reality Bites for interviewing me. I love your blog! My heart felt thank you to Alexis for her review of Confessions Collection Vol. 1 (London Brown).
I'm grateful to be part of your review and giveaway. Reality Bites so I say 'Let's get lost!’
I want start by discussing the whole alter ego of Desniah/London. I must admit I love this aspect of the book; it is such an awesome concept. When I first started reading your Confessions Collection Vol.1 I was unsure of what to make of it. It opens with a confession of a whore which needless to say kept my rapt attention because you learn she is not just a "whore" she is much much more.
Alexis: So in the beginning we meet London'alter ego of Desniah Williams, a twenty-six-year-old, ffluent, educated, black woman employed by The Agency. The Agency provides pricy escorts for London’s elite.'
The more you read on the more you become aware that Desniah and London are literally two different persona's. Desniah is not moonlighting as an escort and pretending to be London. No, London overtakes Desniah's being as a whole, not just as a personality.
There for when London takes over in existence as a person Desniah is...Gone.
There for when London takes over in existence as a person Desniah is...Gone.
What inspired you to write Desniah as a "dual" character, with what seems to be a split personality? And who was created first Desniah or London?
Leila: In many ways this dates back to my own teens, a friend and a tragic situation. A very close friend from my teens was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. His journey ended tragically not long after. He is my inspiration. What I experienced with him before he was diagnosed, I believe, enables me to write this story and the character. At the time, when he'd begun to struggle with his illness I'd felt like I was literally dealing with two different people. That was the first time I'd researched disorders or mental illness.
Desniah came first. Something about her sweetness, despite everything she's survived, drew me to her. London was the louder of the two personalities and is loads of fun to write.
Originally, I'd title my work in progress THE MERGER. I'm sure you can infer some of the reasons I thought that's where the story was headed. So much of what I was trying to convey were emotions I didn't want to revisit. And to be honest I kept trying to make the story something more palatable. Remove the gritty raw aspects of the reality for these two and those around them, which is what lead me to stop writing the story the first time. It's an intense headspace to inhabit.
Alexis: I consider both Desniah and London to be masochist. I believe the fact that London even exist is a part of Desniah's masochism. London has no real boundaries. Well… I could be wrong about that. I'll just leave it as her being on the extreme end with her dark sexual desires. She is strong willed, she needs control, and she only relinquishes that control on her terms. The total opposite of Desniah or is she... As I read on I began to get the feeling that the two(Desniah&London) are more alike than what's let on.
Would you agree that the two are more alike than what the storyline actually lets on?
Would you agree that the two are more alike than what the storyline actually lets on?
Leila: One of the aspects that your review picked up on was that though the characters didn't label themselves as masochist; it came across in their actions and decisions.
I agree that there are many similarities between the two. They share a historical deck, meaning they both share many of the same life experiences that made them who they are. But London survived and carries many of the darkest aspects of what happened to them. That is where a lot of the differences between them come from. That is where their paths diverged.
It’s one thing to know of darkness, or to be led into darkness, but another to dwell there as long as London has. I think that is where you find the extremes in her personality.
Alexis: Desniah said she met the devil at a young age and then London was created/born.
Did Desniah create London as a way to cope with what happened to her when she was young?
Leila: From my understanding, there are many unknowns with dissociative identity disorder (DID). I've read a lot of data on the disorder. Some people think it's real, while others don't. I didn’t want to over-dramatize the disorder aspect of the characterization. This was something that was a shock to Desniah when she realized she wasn't alone and she's been working on dealing with it. I wanted the transition between them to be the way it would appear to someone looking on events unfolding in the character’s life. That is, that the readers would experience it as each of them navigates through this reality.
In my mind, there were repeated traumas which created the fracture in Desniah that created London. Each of the characters sees London's existence in the way that serves them best. If that makes any sense. Somewhere in there readers will find the truth. But there are still pieces for readers to uncover.
I tell the story in episodes, confessions from each perspective of four main protagonists—technically three bodies and four people. This is so readers experience the fracture as the characters do.
Alexis: The Love Triangle -Cade
Cade and Rhys are two different men completely. So far it seems Cade may love Desniah but he cannot keep a hold on her. And even though he still has a small piece of her heart, it may not be enough to win her back. Then there is the Unfortunate fact that he can barely fathom nor understand Deniah's dark sexual desires.
Does Caden really have a chance at winning Desniah's heart back?
Leila: I sometimes feel like it’s a love square rather than a triangle. I suspect you aren't the only one wondering about Cade's ability to feed Desniah’s darker sexual appetites, which he doesn't approve of. I ponder how Desniah feels about the fact that Cade and London are lovers. Desniah definitely struggles with a sense of inadequacy in relation to London.
I caution readers not to discount the bond between Caden and Desniah. He was one of the first people she bonded with after her adoption.
He has a hell of struggle in front of him. But in the story, I've shown how the tide can change with one action that snowballs and this will continue to be true.
I noted in an earlier question that the original title was THE MERGER. The next time I felt compelled to write the story I called it SINS OF THE FATHER. I think for obvious reasons that would lead to the idea that this story is about Cade. But as we move forward I think this will become increasingly relevant to them all. Without giving too much away, I'll simply add that Caden continues to have a central role in Desniah/London's world.
Alexis: Rhys on the other hand has his own dark side. He is a true sadist. In my opinion Rhys seems to be what Desniah needs. However he also shows signs of being potentially dangerous. His cravings are so dark that I consider his character to be 'pitch black' with no light coming through the cracks.
The dark desires shared by Rhys and Desniah seem to bring them together. But I'm scared for Desniah... I'm scared she has no idea what she is getting in to with Rhys. When he said he wanted to be her master it terrified me. When reading from his POV you can clearly see the guy has a sick mind. If she decides to leave him I think he may break. In all honesty his issues are borderline criminally insane.
How did you come up with his character? And did you always intend for him to be dark?
Leila: I really like the label of 'pitch black' for Rhys but I think it best we not tell him. : )When I read your review I'd been intrigued at how you picked up on the sadist in him because this isn't a term he uses to identify himself.
If you think you're scared for Desniah, you have no idea the heart pounding I go through when he steps forward to confess. At this point, Desniah doesn't know what she is getting herself into with Rhys. But she's about to find out.
I'm going to answer the second part of the questions first. I always intended for Rhys be as he is. He literally drains me when I'm writing his confessions.
I spent my late teens to early twenties in some very dark spaces. There I met intriguing individuals. Two of those individuals I drew from to create aspects of Rhys. My personal core is very dominant. That put me in a unique position in the eyes of those two individuals. They permitted me to be privy to aspects others would not have been. I believe both thought by bringing me into their confidence they'd change me. To their surprise, they only reinforced who I am. One of them was very cerebral and logical and the other primal and raw. If I were to describe them as characters that most can relate to they'd be Sherlock Holmes and Dexter. Rhys is a combination of those two with his own unique traits.
I'm surprised by the reaction readers have to him. Sure I knew those two individuals had a pull but I hadn't considered how it would come across on paper.
Alexis: London found out some...thing's about Rhys that day she went to his apartment. Then she questioned him. She truly believes that she is protecting Desniah, is she? Because some of her actions seem to be selfish.
Leila: London will protect Desniah so long as it preserves her. If London felt that Desniah's life or freedom was at risk, she would protect her. But she's also out to secure her role within Desniah.
Alexis: Will Caden learn the secrets Desniah hold and how they may be linked to his mother's death in Volume 2?
Leila: Yes in episode… I'm not sure if you want to know when but the secret and the events of the morning of his mother's death will come to light. What I'm interested in is all the revelations that will come after…
Alexis: Will we learn more about The Agency? Or more importantly will we find out how Cade knew about Desniah/London working for The Agency?
Leila: We will learn more about The Agency. In episode three we learned who told Cade but we don't know why. We will find out more about why he was told as well.
Alexis: I look forward to reading Volume 2. I am interested to see what happens with this love triangle. And all that will be revealed!
Reality Bites! sends a huge THANK YOU Ms. Leila DeSint!
Leila: Thank you, Reality Bites Let's get lost, blog for having me. Excellent, questions Alexis!
If your interest has been piqued check out, Confessions Collections Vol. 1 (London Brown). Thanks and enjoy, Leila DeSint.
GIVEAWAY
Leila is giving away a copy of Confession Collection Vol. 1 to one lucky person!
Please note that the winner must be 18 years of age, if you are not 18 you should not be on this page.
Enter the rafflecopter below to win!
Nice...In need of a good mind-fuck! ♥
ReplyDeleteThis will definitely give it to you!
ReplyDelete