Review: If You Stay by Courtney Cole

5 Hearts

Comes out Feb 12

Goodreads Summary
24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole. 
Seriously. 

He’s a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match. 

But he’s got his reasons. 

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count. 

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work. His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect façade. 
So he slipped far, far from it. 

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right? 
Wrong. 

And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila. 
Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he’s got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness. 

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it. 

He knows that. And he’s working on it. 

But is that enough to make her stay?

My Thoughts
**ARC provided by author (Release date is 2/12/2013)**

First, I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU again to Courtney Cole for providing me an ARC copy of her book. I was lucky enough to win an autographed copy in one of her contest and to say I was excited is an understatement!!

I LOVED Pax. He immediately grabs at your heart strings. He is broken and makes you want to fix him. He is sexy as hell too! And oh, some of the things he says and does in the book! There are a few favorites I have. One is nude painting. Then there is the big bad wolf. And one of my favorite lines..

"You've seen me at my worst. Maybe you should see me at my best." "When are you at your best?" "In bed." But Pax is far from perfect. He is a seriously f'ed up individual. He uses drugs and women to numb the emptiness he feels. But I will give him credit for being honest about it. Make no mistake, he is in your face honest and makes no apologies for it.

Mila is the light in Pax's dark world. From the moment he meets her, he begins to make some serious changes in his life. At first, she is scared to pursue whatever this thing between them is. She knows about the drugs and women, she has seen both up close and personal, and is scared of what a relationship with Pax would mean for her.

I loved the chemistry between Pax and Mila. I read so many stories where there is this instant attraction between the characters and it jut doesn't seem believable. I am not sure if it was the circumstances in which Pax and Mila meet or not, but I could feel the connection with them. And I appreciated the fact that she wasn't trying to fix him. She wanted him to be the one to fix himself. I think that was important because anyone in Pax's situation has to want to make changes in order for them to stick. 

The story of Pax and Mila is one filled with ups and downs. It is sweet at times, and heartbreaking at others. It is raw and dark. And also beautiful and bright.

The letter at the end had me breaking out the tissue. So, be ready because there is no way you can read it and not have the tears streaming down your face. It was a beautiful touch and I think it helped me feel connected even more to the characters.

And the best part?

NO CLIFF HANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!