Review: Miss Me Not by Tiffany King

4 star Review

"For four years I had done nothing but contemplate snuffing out my existence. No more judgments, no more glares and most of all, no more gossip surrounding things I had done. All of that was swiped away. In the end, they would still win. They always won." 

Miss Me Not is the story of Madison, a high school senior who has done nothing but dream for the last four years about the day that she would end her own life. Her and her only friend, James make a pact that they will do this together. All is going smoothly with their plan until a classmate of theirs commits suicide before they do. Seeing the school's reaction and mourning for Mitch, it changes Madison's perspective and she realizes she is going to need a new plan. 

"I didn't want their tears. I didn't want them to think of me. I wanted nothing from them. That asshole Mitch Johnson saved my life today. What a prick. 

Madison is soon signed up for mandatory tutoring and in comes, Dean Jackson. Holy freaking SWOON is this kid amazing! 

"As an obvious rule, I didn't crush on anyone, but if I did, Dean Jackson would be worthy. Dean was everything I wasn't, smart, funny, charismatic and all-around good guy." 

Dean makes every effort to be there for Madison. He is extremely understanding and doesn't push himself on her too quickly. Their friendship and relationship progresses so beautifully, I was in complete awe of Dean. I really appreciated that part of the story and that it didn't feel rushed at all. The buildup was perfection and their conversations and banter had me grinning and laughing alot. 

"You might as well know, Mads, you're not going to scare me away. So stop trying." 

....

"You look so beautiful. Did I tell you that already? Like you belong here," he said huskily, never taking his eyes from mine. "You make this place even more special." 

As the story progresses we learn more about Madison's past and why she has had this extreme want to end her life for years. She has wanted nothing more than the attention of her parents, any interaction would have satisfied her. I've read books where there was physical, sexual, and/or verbal abuse, but this one was different than anything I've read. I have never had so much hatred for a mother in any book. This is a case of a woman who just has ZERO maternal instincts whatsoever and should never have had children. And the kicker, she's extremely religious and spends all her time at church. (Ummm...?) It honestly sickened me the way her mother treated her and I had a really hard time with that the entire book.

"I mean, what kind of effed up person envied physical abuse as a form of desirable attention? Me. That's who." 

One of my very favorite parts of this book was Dean's family. They were such a light in the darkness of this story. I cried happy tears quite a few times because the moments were just so touching and emotional. His mother, Sarah was simply amazing.

"Madison, Dean has filled me in on your home life, and I hope you don't mind when I say that sometimes parents are just assholes," she said, shocking me. 

I had been wanting to read this book for quite a while, I was in complete cover love with it and was working myself up to starting it. This book deals with death, depression, suicide, abuse, and many other really heavy topics. Some of which are extremely personal to me, so beginning this book I was expecting to be a complete and utter mess the entire time. I'm surprised to say, I really wasn't. Don't get me wrong, there are some very heart breaking, heart wrenching moments, but also cried many happy tears and there is one part that did have me sobbing like a baby, but as a whole, it didn't feel as dark as I had anticipated. Tiffany King did an excellent job of writing about a really tough topic, while putting enough fiction in there for it to be enjoyable. There were some generalizations, inconsistencies, and things that got glazed over a bit. Sometimes things felt all too convenient and I can't lie that it did bother me a little. Overall, I loved this book. It was well paced and the balance between light and heavy was handled flawlessly. I really enjoyed it. 

"The amazing thing about love was that when you didn't have it, the word seemed impossible to use, but when you were surrounded by it, it was as easy to say as breathing."